The Big Four
Recently I came across a concept of the “Big Four” traits that make a person happy. The idea behind them is that not every one is born happy but people who are share these four big picture traits. All of which can be gained by working on the skills needed.
Optimism: Yes, looking at the cup as half full will contribute to a happier outlook on life. People who are considered optimistic who don’t personalize setbacks, but rather see them as challenges to overcome. Optimists are also more likely to solve problems faster because they believe in positive outcomes and look for the light at the end of the tunnel while pessimists tend to miss out on opportunities and neglect problems believing the worst in everything.
Although you don’t have to be Miss Susie Sunshine all the time changing some things about how the world is viewed can change someone’s attitude. First put the past where it belongs. Bad things happen to good people. Acknowledge the bad that has happened in your life, but realize that this doesn’t decide your future.
Next realize that you have the power to change things. What gets you down. Hate your job? Get a new one. So the economy is bad, the timing isn’t right, who would hire me, I don’t have the skills, so what? There are million excuses not to do something. Pessimists look for those excuses. Stop holding yourself back and look for ways to overcome these obstacles.
Exercise. It’s amazing what eating right, getting enough sleep, and exercising can do for your attitude and outlook on life.
Self-Confidence: Happy people like themselves. They can see their strengths and what gives them value. Recognizing what your problems and issues are and where they stem from is the first step to overcoming lack of self-confidence. What makes you feel unworthy or ashamed? Once you recognize it and name it the closer you are to over coming it.
Remember that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. We all have seen or have known some people who are self-confident, but recognize that they have faults, issues, and insecurities as well. Everyone has ups and downs in their life.
recognize your strengths. Create a S.W.O.T. analysis of yourself. Than take time to recognize what you do well and celebrate what you have accomplished. Everyone has done 6 impossible things, but what do they mean if you done appreciate them and use them to make yourself feel better?
Extraversion: Yes, being an extrovert can make you happier. Maybe it is that they socialize more or that they confident enough to interact with others, but they are considered happier than introverts.
Smiling at people is an easy first step to over coming being introverted. Notice someone, smile, and that may open the door to introducing yourself and talking to someone. Even if you don’t make small talk the simple act of smiling can do wonders for your own happiness and you never know what a smile can do for someone else.
Join groups. Get out there and join groups that share common interests that you do. It will get you out of you bubble, but keep you in a confront zone by sharing with others something to that you enjoy. Besides already knowing that someone shares a common interest is a great icebreaker.
Don’t over think it. What did that person think about me? Will I say something stupid? What do I say? Just live in the moment. Remember the only way to overcome fears is to meet them face on.
Self-efficacy: These are people who set goals and then believe that they can figure out how to accomplish them. In other words it is people who believe in themselves.
People who believe in themselves make sure that they have someone in their life who cheers them on. This can be a mentor or loved one, but having someone in your life who believes in you and encourage you while not just telling you what you want to hear will help encourage you to push outside of your comfort zone.
Find a way to manage stress. Getting down or allowing a bad mood effect you can deter goals especially if something isn’t going to plan. Stress can set a downward spiral that is hard to get out of. Finding a way to manage stress allows you to find ways to stay optimistic and find solutions to problems faster.
Out of all of these my biggest strength would be self-efficacy, but I am a huge introvert. Talking to new people isn’t my strong point. I’m shy to the bone. How about you?