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Did You Just Really Do That? Seriously, It’s Time For You To Leave

December 23, 2010

If you have read my blog in the past than you might have gathered that I’m a big fan of focusing on the positive and letting the negative go. If you need further convincing check out here, here, and here. Now I’m all for the happier side of life, but there are times when I just want to bang my head against and say “really? Did that just really happen?” There are times in life when you just need to vent. Not gossip, but get all the crap that is building up in your chest out. It really doesn’t matter to who just that it gets out. I need some venting right now hence the title however I’m going to be a bit more constructive in my venting and present a list of things that as a house guest you just shouldn’t do.

1. Just shut up: As a house guest I don’t need to hear EVERYTHING we do wrong and how you do it better in your household. If you really do things better than why not just go home?

2. Marathon bathroom trips: There is no need to spend 5 hours getting ready. There is even a smaller need for you to spend 4 of those 5 hours doing it in my bathroom.

3. Turn my house into a maze: Mazes are fun. That’s why every farmer makes one at Halloween time that the public can wander through. My house isn’t a farm or at least wasn’t one until you showed up and now it’s a circus. Keep your shit in one area, because it is not okay that it takes me 20 minutes to get from one side of my 900 square foot apartment to the other thanks to your labyrinth of crap.

4. Pick up after yourself: I am not the maid. If you want turn down service the Hilton is down the street. I can get you a room. Honestly pick up after yourself. We have a dishwasher for a reason. If you somehow can’t figure out how it works just put your dishes in the sink. I can draw you a diagram if needed.

5. We don’t offer a menu: This isn’t Burger King. You don’t get it your way. I could care less about your wheat free, gluten free, sugar free, eating nothing green, organic non hydrogenated oils only, no fish, pork, or beef diet. I will not pluck out the mushrooms, the tomatoes, the meat, the eggs, or the taste. And no you can not suggest the type of pan that I cook it in. Now back off. I’m all for trying to not cook with foods that people don’t like, but if your diet only allows of organically flavored air than sit down and shut up.

6. Shut up some more: If you don’t like tree huggers, liberals, Democrats, other ways of thinking, other religions, people who do yoga, organic everything, computer geeks, or the rain than what the hell are you doing here in Seattle? It’s like hating the ocean and going on a cruise.

Do you need to vent. Please feel free to do it here.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. December 24, 2010 8:20 am

    Number 5 especially gets me. After a house guest leaves having to clean up after various bits of things they forgot to throw away. I always obsess over this when I visit others: making sure that every little spec of dust I create is cleaned. Also elementary: take the sheets of the bed, and neatly fold them. Seems simple to me, but not everyone does it. xo bb

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