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9 Ways To Be Happy

November 29, 2010

1. Reevaluate your expectations: Shocking coming from the girl who is ruled by lists and loves goals, but sometimes expectations hinder. Think of it this way: take a look at your goals and expectations. Are any of them preventing you from being happy? Do you find yourself saying “I wont be happy until I have insert the name of a specific dream job, or the right car, or the perfect house in an ideal neighborhood…” These are all common wants, but would they really make you happy or would it be a temporary fix to a permanent solution? I have a close friend who decided that her first place needed to be a 3-4 bedroom condo with 3 parking spaces in an expensive area of town. She worked and worked trying to create the perfect life throwing little stabs at me renting an apartment that I enjoyed in a not so glam area. Suddenly my friend realized that she was 31, living at home, never having been out on her own, and deep in depression. She made the choice that she needed to make a change and now lives a not so perfect, but happy life in my apartment complex.

2. Realize that everyone has pain: No one is perfect not matter how perfect their life looks. Suffering is universal (although on many different levels). After all Marilyn Monroe and Princess Di seemed to have the perfect life, but look at how they suffered. The key is to realize that you are not the only person who has gone through your pain. Find others who have been there and talk to them. Remember that pain is always worse in the moment. The great thing about time is that it destroys everything. Although it may never take away your suffering completely it takes away the pain little by little each day until one day it is bearable.

3. Love yourself: You are an amazing, beautiful, wonderful, brilliant, sexy, fun person. Yes, you. Just accept it. Let me say it one more time. YOU are an AMAZING, FUN, BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, SEXY, BRILLIANT person. Don’t allow anyone else to let you believe differently, because what do they know? Anyone who tries to bring you down has their own issues that they need to deal with. However you have a choice to love or hate yourself. The sooner you accept how awesome you are the happier you will become.

4. Emotion management: Bad thoughts and feelings can creep into us. It happens to everyone, but the real challenge is to recognize it and stop the negativity from taking root. Feeling anxious, hate, or fear is okay, but acting on it isn’t. The sooner that you can recognize a bad thought and label it as such the easier it will be to not allow it to control you.

5. Go with your gut: Sometimes doing what you believe is the right thing is hard. It may cause an internal struggle. But think of it this way would you rather struggle with what you believe in and stay true to your ethics and morals or do what may be the easier choice may be and struggle with the fact that you went against your beliefs?

6. Know your truth: Remember your truth is what is right for you not what society tells you is right for you. Live your life to what makes you happy and as long as you aren’t hurting anyone else you should be okay. Don’t try to fit other people’s idea of who you should be. You need to make your own decisions. It may be rough, but it isn’t fair to you to try to be someone you are not. Trying to please others around you by being someone else helps no one at the end of the day.

7. Be nice: Don’t say hurtful things. Don’t give people jabs. And for the love of all things good don’t give back-handed insults. It’s petty and there is no long-term benefit to it. I’ve watched my grandmother and her sister-in-law in a petty, back-handed comment fight for a couple of decades now. Each is thrilled when they get their word in, than pissed when they get zinged, and then spend hours, days, weeks sometimes thinking of what they will say back. No one wins. No one walks away happy. It is draining the people around them and putting others in the middle. What’s the point?

8. Praise yourself: When you do something awesome praise yourself for it. Increased sales at work? You go girl. Rocked it out on the cookies you made? Awesome!! Got through the day without forgetting where your keys are? You rock! Remind yourself of how hard you worked and give yourself a humble pat on the back.

9. Give yourself room to not be perfect: Messing up is a part of life. EVERYONE makes mistakes. Even that perfect person and yes, even your boss. Just not everyone will own up to it. It is okay to mess up. Being perfect is an impossible task. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Instead of belittling yourself over it and beating yourself up stop. Just stop. Take a breath. Clear your mind and remind yourself that hindsight is a luxury after the fact. Use the mistake as a learning tool and move on.

It seems that talking about happiness lately is quit soothing. What do you find soothes you?

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