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Seeing The Perfection In Imperfection

November 12, 2010

Right now the wind is blowing so hard that if I didn’t know better I would think that a hurricane was moving in. The sky is cloud covered and looks like rain. The trees are bright red and gold and it is about 45 degrees outside. This morning as I was driving to Target I said to myself “this is the perfect weather.” Wait, what? Yes, I said it. I love this weather.

If I really think about it this statement is crazy. After all I am the girl who packed up and moved from the snow-belt in Pennsylvania to sunny Southern California for year round beach weather. This of course set me off on a tangent of what is perfect? This is something that haunts me to no end. Somehow I have this fairy tale story in my head of what life should be like. Really, it’s a fairy tale up there. On more than one occasion I was convinced that it would be beneficial to teach mice and birds to clean my house. However at the end of the day what I really want is something else than the fairy tale.

Seriously, I hated Los Angeles. Many of my friends thought I was crazy to give up the sun, the all year real tan, the glitter of Hollywood, Disneyland (where I get my fairy tale complex from), but I digress. Why would I give up living in the town where “dreams come true” to move to angsty,  rainy, gloomy Seattle. More importantly was I giving up my dreams and eventually going to join a grunge band and one day OD on heroin? These were my parents concerns. However I saw something different. In my eyes Los Angeles was smoggy, gang infested, and I spend more time sitting in traffic than I did sitting on the beach. As for the sun it was nice, but when it hits 115 in the summer and you are surrounded by fires life isn’t so beautiful. Whereas my Seattle is a world of adventure, culture, friendly people, trees, and air I can breath. Forget the rain. It doesn’t bother me.

So, why do I still long for California? Why do I keep trying to go for the things that I think will make my life more perfect, but in reality is the last thing I need? There is a huge disconnect in my head right now between what I think is perfect and what is really what I want. However I’m starting to see the perfection in the imperfection. Hence my love of gloomy weather.

What is your idea of perfect? Have you ever had this discount between what you wanted and what you thought you wanted? You know that I love to hear what is on everyone’s mind. Come on. Share!!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. November 12, 2010 4:10 am

    Dissonance is the word you’re looking for, Sweetheart! J x

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