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The Other Side Of Being Miserable

October 28, 2010

I’ve come to the conclusion that some people need to be miserable. The more unhappy and miserable they are in a twisted round about way makes them happier. Sadly, I have known many who fall into that category and was even raised by one. So I made this list for them.

13 Ways That Some People Make Themselves Miserable:

1. Be “that” person: There is always one person who needs to correct spelling or grammar in everyday situations. They are the people who rush in to inform you of a mistake before you even make it because they want to “make you a better person.” These are the people who have so little control over their own life that they need exert it over others. It’s sad, but nobody really likes a know it all who butts in when not need it.

2. Wear your weaknesses on your sleeve: I could make you a laundry list of my flaws, but just because I think they are my down falls doesn’t mean that everyone needs to know what they are.  The more I keep them out in the open the more they become a part of me in all the wrong ways. It’s important to know ones flaws, but don’t air all of them like dirty laundry.

3. Set yourself up for failure: Raise your hand if you are guilty of this. Both of my hands are waving in the air. Many times it isn’t a conscious choice that we make to sabotage ourselves. We put up barriers, make excuses, and find ways to make our dreams not happen. Ask yourself why. Why do you do this? What is keeping you from your goals. Denying yourself and your dreams wont make your life better. Find ways to make at least one of your dreams closer to reach each day.

4. Needing to be liked all the time: Being liked is great, but sometimes hard decisions need to be made. Sometimes we need to speak up and be an advocate for change that not everyone will like. Sometimes you need to need to stand up for yourself. There is a difference between being liked and being taken advantage of. When we give up who we are to fit what other people want us to be we give up on a lot of who we are and what we want in life. Finally we just end up lost. Be yourself and people will be attracted to that.

6. Wish: Wishing on stars should be left to silly princesses and their singing woodland creatures. Wishing for something to happen gets you a list of unanswered dreams.

7. Give onto the negative propaganda: The last few weeks every single commercial that came on the TV is about the upcoming election. Dino Rossi and Patty Murrary have been battling it out for the Washington Senate seat. The commercials get more and more vicious as the days tick down to election day. I couldn’t imagine having myself talked about in the way they go on and on. But we have all been there. We have heard the negative propaganda about ourselves. About what we are or aren’t capable of. There will always be critics it’s just how much we pay attention to what they say that matters.

8. Create walls: In business it is called barriers to entry. It’s all of the hurdles in the way for a new business entering the market. It can come in the form of established competition, high costs of doing business, understanding foreign markets, etc… In people it is guarding your heart, your thoughts, putting up walls in front of goals.

9. Fall pray to the Bystander effect: In 1964 Kitty Genovese was stabbed to death by a serial rapist and murderer. He attacked her, left, came back 10 minutes later and finished what he started. There were 38 witnesses. No one intervened or call the police. The bystander effect suggests that in an emergency the more people who see it the less likely a person is to help. There are a few theories why, but the one I like the most is that some feel that the more people who witness something the more likely someone else will help and pass off the responsibility.

10. Wish ill on others: The best way to stay miserable is to feed on hate and pass it on. The best way to do this is to keep let that hate fester in you instead of letting go of the anger or doing something about it.

11. Stay in a rut: There is a difference between routine and rut. A routine is a schedule that you are happy with that gets things done. A rut is hole like that rerun that you watched 20 times and can recited word for word. It never changes. It’s boring, but it is familiar and familiar is safe. So we sit watching that same show again, and again, and again.

12. Feed into the fear: Fear is a great tool that many nations and societies have used to keep people in check. It’s the fear of the unknown. What’s lurking around the corner that kept people in line. It’s amazing how fear can keep us from going after our goals. Have you asked yourself what you are really afraid of? What is really causing the fear?

13. Excuses, excuses, excuses: Have you ever talked to someone who had an excuse for everything? They live in a place where everything is drama and the world is against them, but they have every excuse for why they can’t change or get ahead. These are the people I want to take by the shoulders and shake while screaming “take some responsibility for your life!” We all have baggage. We all have issues and bumps in the road, but it is only the people who make a serious effort to move themselves past there issues that get anywhere.

What do you think? These are all very self-destructive habits that at one point or another I have exhibited and a few I’m still working on (2, 13, and 12 most specifically). Are you working on over coming any of these?

One Comment leave one →
  1. October 28, 2010 11:44 am

    This is an absolutely terrific list, and I wholeheartedly agree with every one. I was also raised by someone like this – thankfully just one! – and it takes work to rewire age-old thinking habits and clear out that shadow. The lovely thing in life is everything can change with forward positivity. Life is funny (and great) that way.

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