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Crossroads

October 27, 2010

I’ve been very introspective lately. So introspective that I probably qualify to have my own mountain to sit on top of and meditate on. What has been heavy on my mind is life. Right now I’m in a bit of a strange place. I’m at a point in my life where various things are preventing me to move in the direction that I want so all that is left is to change directions.

What really struck me was a quote I came across that went along the lines the only constant in life is change. Now I no stranger to change. Seriously, I have reinvented myself more times than Madonna, but this time around I seem to be having a hard time derailing myself from my current path. So, to get past this juncture I decided to do what I do best and make a list.

Things I need to remind myself:

Spend more time focusing on what I have. There are so many things that I feel that I should have in my life right now. Milestones that I should be hitting. What I need is a good dose of today. Stop living in the future and focus on the happiness that is here: a very healthy baby who is thriving having a stay at home mom, a boyfriend that loves me, a blog I love writing on, beautiful trees that are turning red in front of me, delicious coffee…

Stop Obsessing: Yes, there are milestones and achievements that I feel I’m missing out on. I want a house and a job. Not just any job. I want to be a buyer, but my ship hasn’t come in yet. Really I’m feeling that I’m driving myself crazy over this. Does this make me any less of a person because I don’t have this in my life? No, but by obsessing over it I’m pretty much saying that my life isn’t valuable right now. My life isn’t worth anything until I reach my goals. Looking it that way has started to give me some perspective.

Stop trying so hard: This is advice I give all the time, but why can I never take it myself? Have you ever noticed that the more you focus on something the harder that it makes to achieve it? It’s because when we narrow in on something we forget the other pieces of the puzzle. In my case of wanting a house I keep forgetting that R needs to work on his credit, I need to make a plan on how to save for the down payment, and we need to find an area we like with a good school. Maybe talk to some of my friends who went through buying a house recently to find out more about the process and what to plan for. Yes, there is a lot I’m forgetting with my house blinders on.

Figure out what is missing/ find your purpose: Again, more advice that I fail at putting into practice! So many times I’ve thought “if I just have _____ I would be happy.” When I got it, well let me just say it never turned out as planned. To find your purpose make a list. Write down what makes you happy professionally, spiritually, personally. Include hobbies, interests, and personal values. From this create goals. Spend a portion of each day working towards accomplishing at least one of them.

Have you ever been stuck at a crossroad? What did you do to get past it?

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. October 27, 2010 4:27 am

    Great post, Samantha. So much of it resonates with me. With 3 children under 5 and severe PND, I am constantly challenged. Every day. I wish I could give you a tip. I do think, however, that the questions you’re asking will put you into a better headspace. Well done you, for realising where you’re at. That’s often the hardest part. J x

  2. October 27, 2010 1:12 pm

    I think that the fact you are asking yourself those questions is a huge milestone that will lead to answers.
    Stuck in a crossroad? many times – end every time, I use my head and make sure my heart doesnt suffer.

    One more thing my doctor said a couple of months ago while writing a prescription for “happy pills”: One thing at a time. Tomorrow the sun will come up from the same place than yesterday and it will go down the same way”

    • October 27, 2010 4:15 pm

      That’s a great way of looking at things. One thing at a time.

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